Wednesday, April 9, 2008
no words
i don't even know how to describe how I'm feeling sometimes. I just want my marriage to be normal. I dont want Mark to be mad at me for wanting to do something. I want freakin marriage counseling but theres really no point when he's not even going to be here alot to go with me. He just tells me to go by myself. maybe I do need counseling. how bad is it that I know that I have depression. I feel like I can't even go on meds for it without Mark judging me. Thats why I don't want to go to the dr to get help for it. My anxiety is worse than ever. I feel like my life is just spirling downword and I can't stop it. I wonder if my life would be different if I wasn't with Mark. maybe I'm stupid for wondering that but I do. I wonder if I would still be so unhappy. Mark tells me to fix it but I dont know how to. its obvious mark doesnt want to fix the problem so I dont know where to go from here. I have been nothing but a great wife to him and all I get is shit on in return. He basically gets everything he wants and I get nothing. I'm not sure where to go from here. any advice would be appreciated.
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2 comments:
You have to take care of yourself regardless or the marriage will never be what you want.
I was pretty miserable back when I was 15-16, and i was prescribed Prozac. it made me very manageable, no so miserable, and I had less anxiety. You also might have PMDD, have you researched that? Turns out, I have PMDD, and I don't need my prozac anymore because I'm on Yaz (birth control). you need to stop caring what he thinks of your actions, because you don't want to blurt out one day, "IM MISERABLE BECAUSE OF YOU!"
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